Last (ever) post

Last post does not = to last assignment… still have podcast to rush, and pgraph to burn.

But last post = last two weeks with the whole of T1B1 (most probably), and that is the saddening fact.

The past four months never really felt like days that I was ‘attending’ school. Yay, for that feeling. Boo, for the part where it makes me procrastinate or slack even more. So yay or boo, boo. But Yay for being able to be in FSV, and plus we got the cool lecturers who have a famous line each. At least this is where I really want to go, so to make up for the boo part, I got to buck up next sem.

‘and plus we got the cool lecturers who have a famous line each.’ Yes, so after this sem, we shall remember to always close our laptops, always love chocolate and eat it the way it is, always move to the front to sit, always ask for permission before going toilet, and don’t mention the ‘word’ always. They are cool, coolest ever. =D Going to miss all sem one lecturers…

One thing I am going miss after this sem got to be T1B1. I really don’t like the idea of changing class in FSV, sigh… no matter what, these are the people whom I had my first class in FSV with.

I am going to try to take it like changing classes every year in Primary and Secondary schools.

(The scribbles by TBONE) Oh and of course TBONE rocks socks (so do all FSV peeps)!!!

random stuff

To end my journal, (yes, sadly, last post most probably… i m going to miss it) i m going to write about random stuff. Recently i did a lot of people-watching, unintentionally, or when i have nothing to do…

Today, two chinese men were squatting at the bus-stop. PAUSE for a while, i need to talk about the bus stop, it is an area with a sign hanging out, like those of the old. PLAY- so they were squatting in the shelter where i was, and their conversation went like this:

Fellow #1: ‘GOOD idea of yours to stand here when we can wait at the coffee shop. haha.’ , ‘ let’s play a guessing game (scissors, paper, stone), the winner will treat the other ‘ying liao’ – a drink!’

[intersection: the corridor is fairly small, so if someone had walked past, he would interrupt their game quite rudely.]

Fellow #2: Okay, set, on!

Fellow-s #1 and #2: Scissors! Paper!

[intersection: i was turning away to prevent myself from laughing, it's not silly, it is just so hilarious *laughs away]

Fellow-s #1 and #2: Stone!

When i turned back, they were already walking away, from their gestures and roaring laughter, i guess fellow #1, who initiated the game lost. =D pure innocence.

Yesterday, I was on a bus, fairly crowded, and it was only a few stops from the interchange so the wait at the traffic juncture was fairly long. During this time, I was observing a family through the main doors…

The Mum was with her baby, the Dad, with her precious daughter. Let’s move our attention onto the Dad and his girl – the little girl was walking and squatting down every two steps. The nice and interesting thing is that every one or two steps, she squats, he squats… still holding on to her hand (i guess i need not elaborate any more =D.

Sometimes, we forget how we spent time together with our friends in the past, in pure innocence, and the times we spent with our parents, ‘indulging’ in the very hectic life of ours. Haha, this is suppose to be cheery post, so let’s continue…

I remember when I was young, my family would go for the yearly River Ang Bao at chinese garden. Every moon festival (last time), my sisters and I would go down and lit boxes of candles along the sides of the playground. Those days… glad we did not burn the place down.

Notice the random-ness in the post, ya, it is supposed to be random, haha. Sometimes it is the random-ness and a little bit of innocence of our childlike that adds up to the laughter and joy in our daily life.

Oh, today on the way home with Michelle as usual, she was reading her Film Art, me, in a frantic panic. I was about to send a mass message out to the class, ‘ Pls inform liyu if you see green fish’s black mac cloth, for her dusty black mac….’ then I turned to as Michelle if I should go back and check again, and when she was replying me, asking me to go back home and find it first, something popped into my mind- woman’s instinct – ‘Michelle, ERM, I think it might be here…’ I reached for the pocket in my laptop sleeve, ha, got it! Phew, thank goodness I did not mass message everyone. Now, you must be thinking -_-” thanks.

Recently, I m starting to miss dancing. Yeah, all thanks to the Jive, Cha cha and Mambo every girl have to learn in SMSS. Nah, not those, I mean __, yeah. Aileen and Mavis should know. But haha, I rot at it, so shan’t elaborate much more. Mavis, you got your answer, I won’t do it, everyone will puke and faint. =D

Everyone can cook! – Ratatouille, dance with the carrot, man.

I am not being random by talking randomly, haha, get it? Never mind. It is knowing the rule and break it. Break the Kit-kat, have a break, have a kit-kat, man. haha. random-ness….

my family mum and my sister have been making rice dumplings (zongzi) these few days.- red bean ones and ‘korsong’ ones (Ang dao zhang, and Kee zhang. ) =D So I have been spending my brunches with rice dumplings

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past

This post is written for week 6, so if you are interested to follow my week 5 post, it is below this one. Today is tuesday, or it is wednesday now, 1.32am. Too excited or eager about the storytelling post, so here am I, writing my earliest post ever.

Today class was spent reviewing the letters of classmates… so I am not going to say everything out here, since all of you were there. But during the 20 minutes break, I read through some of our classmates’ wordpress. With each letter I read, each told me a different story, coincidentally, those I read during the 20 minutes, each one brought me to a higher climax, just like 3-act structure. Maybe it was just the swelling up of emotions, so much so that when I got to the ‘last’ one, I felt like crying. I really admire all of my classmates’ courage and strength (you guys) and all of you are great storytellers. Maybe like what Mr Leslie mentioned, writing about our own lives is easier, but also difficult in a way.

Maybe I was too into the letter thing, and because mine was not of a very emotional one, more of missing someone and happy memories, I could not think of anything else to type in for true and false stories except for those two.

This is my afterwords for true and false stories: I know either / no matter which you think is true or false, it may be very difficult to believe or except as my doings in the past. Before you come to me to take my life with a knife, just to assure you, whether it is cheating or forgery, I have turned over a new leaf. Ironically, and unexpectedly, I changed till a stage that I almost forgot what I did, and I became the one stopping people to do maybe dishonest acts? Well, the change is good, but definitely not praising myself. The event shaped part of my character without me realising, and did not come to me till now that it shaped who I am. Either which I have only done it once, that’s enough, silly mistakes made when you are a child. Everyone has a past, I came clean with part of mine here, so I am prepared for any different looks of me now. =D Maybe storytelling module is where I pick up the courage to face myself of past, to bring my story to any possible audience. Since when presenting a film to an audience, you will expect different reactions, so maybe this is the start. Although I know clearly I was wrong then to do that. It was a moment of foolishness, and I do not know why, it just seems like a dream to me now…well. I did not remember that event for quite some time already, maybe I really have placed the past behind me. Alright, I am ready for any daggers, bring it on.

If it is said that with 6 billion people, there is 6 billion stories out there, with the imagination and fictional characters, and those stories made partially, filled with our memories, there should be more than 6 billion stories.

Truefully, I am afraid to put the true and false stories up, but I cannot think of any other stories that I can say now, so I shall live with it, show my past flaw, and face it with courage. Seeing all of the courage you all put forward in writing the letters, what can my little fear compare to. =D CHEERS, face it with courage.

reflection and imagaination

This post you are reading now was initially a total 250 degrees different. It was at first my ramblings, then now filling it with my reflection.
This Last (It is twelve am on Monday) whole week have been sucking me in like a whirlpool. Now I am at the end of my roller coaster ride, it has stopped. Normally, when people compare roller coaster rides to life, they talk about ups and downs, I will be talking about the end. What do you do at the end of a roller coaster ride? Maybe you would think, ”Wow, that was great! I love especially the descending part, my heart nearly jumped out then! Let’s go again!”

Like roller coaster rides, normally at the end, you can only vaguely remember the start of the descending portion, that one second. We would not start analysing, ”Oh, the first two seconds,…, the fifth second, when it dropped,….” That would take the excitement out of the next ride.

Ironically, this is what I am doing now, reflecting on my ride this week. I remember the times when I was distracted, worrying, irritated, shouting, doing all sorts of embarrassing and childish things- all in one week. Thinking what can I do now to resolve the embarrassment caused by my childish acts, things that is making me scared to face everyone there then again. (‘embarrassment’ continued in the later part)

This then led me to thinking about how many a times this year I found myself realising that I am irritated by my own childish actions and gestures. Then at those times, I only had one answer- I want to get myself back, but I cannot stop or change it, I do not know what to do.

Life has a cycle, one that keeps repeating itself in life – You learn, you grow, you drop back to ground zero without realising that much, you reflect and hate yourself for being so childish when you thought you have grown out of those actions, you reflect again, you learn, you grow… all over again. Thinking about it, the reflecting times just make us realise how much we have to improve, how much we have to go to start again if it were to be the case. You can learn, grow and mature, but when situation get better of you, you go back to ground zero… then we must start reflecting again… cause if you don’t you will still be stuck at ground zero. Actually each ground zero is always a bit higher than the previous one, you just realise more, and understands more of yourself. ”Ah! The wonder of reflection”, since we are already doing that many times a day, just continue reflecting, learning, and enjoy growing up.

Embarrassment, is part of our perspective, the fear inside us, or concerns about others’ opinions. If we were to not bother about others’ opinions, we wouldn’t feel that embarrassed. So one of the solutions I have for myself now is to just start anew, do not think so much about what happened, move ahead, move along. =D Also, it is time to find back my disturbed peaceful state of my mind.

In the small part of my quest to find my state of peacefulness, I was linked to something magical – imagination. Ever stood in the shower and start singing, ”I’m singing, I’m dancing in the rain…”? Ever closed your eyes and start twirling about and dancing, in different styles and genres (with your eyes still closed)?
Ever tried finding peace within your own world? Closing your eyes, finding yourselves in a serene state of mind (Ah, what is in my mind now is a scene of that being protrayed in a movie, by the way this is also part of my imagination.) In case you cannot get my explanation, start your own wonderful world of imagination now! Like what it is mentioned in ‘The Old Boy’, it is the imagination….

To end, I have finally watched ‘Ratatouille’! Yes, after a good long time. Animation is like magic, that why I love watching them. Films are like life coaches, or friends, it relates as well as animation. Both contains great power to relate, both can be fictional, but one more fantasied, and explore higher magic, another relates, touches people as if they were watching another person’s real life, you feel it literally. Both as great, awesome and magical! So cheers to visual form of communication! (*Cough) Sorry, went a little out of topic, anyway Rat-ta-tou-ee was totally awesome.

”Anyone can cook”, ”Not everyone can be great artists, but great artists can be from anywhere.” – Ratatouille, 2007

Remy is cute. (Hey, the version I watched did not have the part which ‘he’ was dancing with the carrot!) Dream big.

Others

Just had a gathering with my friends from my secondary school yesterday. Met up with the girls, friends some of ten years. Time files, and we all know that. Ten years, imagine ten years, and another ten years down the road, who will we meet, who will we grow to become to. They have changed who I used to be, and it is only right to know that we are all inter-connected as a whole world.

Well, I am sure everyone of us here know that we are not just ourselves in this world, the world does not rotate around us, neither do we rotate round the world. ‘Wouldn’t it be good if we all take some time out of our lives to look around?’ When you have more time to learn about yourselves, the world, and the people around you, you will be able to do more things for them, and for yourselves. It then isn’t is about ‘Me, me, me’ or ‘We, we, we’ or ‘As a school, as a …’, it is then about ‘As a world’.

When you understand another person’s stand, you no longer discriminate, you do not compare beyond severe extend, you give people their needed mutual respect as a human. To understand, you need firstly to be part of their lives. If you take some time and look around, and know that many people down the road of your life contributed to your life and growing as a whole, then thank them, and help others and contribute to their life as a whole. It may be a second, a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade, a century, or a life time. No matter whether the people you came in contact with on the bus or on the road remembers it, you have been a part of their life. It is not that we are so important, it is not that we are so unimportant, it is just that we are normal, just like our comrades in this world.

Talking about understanding, there was this friend of my friend’s friend, and so on. To cut the long story short, the girl made this insensitive statement about a ultra sensitive topic, religion. My stand is, no matter what who we are, where we came from, what we believe in, we are still living on the same earth. Just for that reason that we all share this world, we need to care about how other people on the same globe feel. What each one of us believes in is different, our faith is different, and it is something that cannot just be snatched away from us. Faith is something that helps someone along the difficult and tedious road of life, and no matter which we believe in, it is important to each one of us. So, in simple terms, if one could give the other the respect to their race, religion, beliefs, self… ad so on, the world will be a better place. =D Of course we all know, it is not so simple…

So to start off caring about the people of this world, take some time, if you want, go out and smile to another person…

Taken off the MRT announcing system, code of the day: ‘Sometimes it is the joy within us that make us smile, sometimes it it the smile that make us joyful’ by…. It may look silly when you start giggling and start to feel happy, but, come on, why on? You do not need to smile all day, then it will be fake, but when you feel joyful, try going out and make someone else smile!

Note: Somehow after typing this post, I thought I was crapping away, I do not why (I was typing seriously , okay! ), and thought of deleting this post, but the decided not to, so made some changes, and hope you will not ‘kill me’ this post and this ultra long sentence, which is considered totally wrong in English language. =D Thank you. (*cough) Hope I gave you some food for thought!

Yeah, wait, talking about doing something for the world, here’s something:

From: Pay It Forward

It is a great film, a boy who plays a part in changing the world, and met many others along the way. I love it. Imagine you help three people, then ask them to pay it forward, then six, nine, twenty-seven,… millions… the concept of ‘Pay It Forward’. Watch it, if you have not, it has since been eight years since the film was made, so rent it! You can do that bit.

the life of the gal before entering fsv…

As promised, this post is dedicated to talk about myself, and my life before life in fsv… Yes, I came from a polka-dotted school-St.Margaret’s Secondary School. I know I don’t look like one from girls’ school much less imagine me in a Saint Margaret’s uniform. Still, the fact is that I have spent ten years in there, ten years in polka-dots. If I were to go over my life all over again, polka-dots would still be my choice. I am thankful for St. Margaret’s to be in the niche of arts.

Enough of all those talking about dots, how I came about to choose FSV is quite mainly due to my experiences in Saint Margaret’s. I had two CCAs back then in secondary school- Media Club and Library Club. No, as of my years in two Club and Societies related CCAs, I am going to tell you that it was no sort of slacking in there, as least for me. =D Library Club was my second CCA and I did not join for extra CCA points (because back then they did not give points for 2nd CCAs). So to simply put it in a way that I went in there because the library managed to capture a place in my heart for it- shelving books and keeping it neat and clean for the students (I am weird, am I?)

As for my first CCA- media club, I cannot recall why I signed up and went for the interview, something then made me signed up, but from there my passion started to spark and grew for that CCA, the club, the people there, and that industry, that field of work. Starting out as a mere kid in a big group of newbies, I did not have as much chances as my peers, but due to curiosity? I went and started bugging my teachers for camera. I must have looked quite silly then. Then came Anne of Green Gables, a school musical collaborated with a high school Orchestra from Germany. Planning with a script and watching the musical for months (until I can literally sing the songs), and working in the crew till late, reaching home at 2am is not fun, but definitely my best experience in media club. Like this passion-driven field, you got to take in scoldings and be strong. Followed it was months of editing, but much of it was not covered by me as I was busy with the videos of Singapore Youth Festival 2005.

In 2006, we had a second school musical, CLASH of the elements, this time I got to be the cameraman and editor. Three cheers for it, despite all the syncing of voice and video, trying to figure out each ‘er’ and twitch. Days and nights of editing, planning and hiding in the dark and freezing computer lab was not at all amusing, but nevertheless it was part of the best of my secondary school education. Taking school events’ photos and get scolded for blocking the view, and mistaken as the fixing light bulb club is not funny either.

As they say, the rest is history. One year past from the time I stepped down from media club, and it was O’ levels result collection day. Cut the long story short, I signed up for JAE and JPSAE. Due to the fear that one year of break from media club may have dimmed my passion, and that since I was not considered naturally talented in media club, I did not know if that field would accept me, or my spark was still there. So I went for the interview, praying hard that I get into somewhere suitable for me, the path for me to take. I got both SAJC and FSV, after a struggle within myself (due to personal family problems and considerations) I emerged out strong in my decision, FSV – I WANT THIS!. Next day, I went to SAJC in home clothes, and cancelled my slot. Taking out negative comments and forces was not easy, I am sure it was the same for some of you, to choose this path. But we are all here now.

Just like what fate has decided for me, and what I decided for me, I came back from a whole round of circling, back to media, this time, I am sure my passion is going to be relight and grow ever stronger. Though there’s still many worries and fear I have now, but I am not going to worry so much, I am just going to get tougher and just do it, and I will know what is there for me. To add, and end, I truely admire so many of my classmates who came in with a pure heart and love for film, at least you do not have as much fear if you have had experienced it before. Keep going, the passion is going to get you there, just like how it is going to, for me. T1B1 lets get to SIFF together! I am starting to feel the fuel being filled up slowly in the tank of my engine.

Thanks to winnie post, i am back here to write that after four years of break, i am back to climbing hills, at Ngee ann. Climbing on sophia road then gave me an old school feeling, i thought all primary schools were so classic as well for a moment. SMPS was on Sophia Road, yes. Having your schools atop of a hill is very tiring. six, plus three years to go. =D Polka-dots.

the balancing act…

Just like some of the (many) days I had to try to do the balancing act on the bus, today was no different either. In addition, I was trying to read and reply messages on my mobile while balancing myself with my mobile, my Macbook and my loaded haversack. In this very attempt, I lost my balance when the bus jerked forward. 

I do not have this (very so not clever) habit of ’smsing’ when my hands are already occupied, but once in a while it just slip off my mind that I might have a great chance of losing my balance. Ironically, I can keep my balance real well on trains. As for buses, I just cannot seemed to find my CG(centre of gravity) at times and would end up ’sliding’ from one end to the other for a couple of time(s), and end up ‘performing’ for those interested to watch.

My silliness aside (I am still young and abled to stand for all bus rides), on the bus as well, I was looking at this old man who had just boarded the bus, rather helplessly. One thing, I was standing. Second, he was standing in front of me. Third thing to mention is that I did not have the courage. I simply lack the courage to ask the girls, one of whom wasn’t ’sleeping’ to give the seat up to the man. I admit the Sir’s dressing look fairly young, but it was rather obvious that he was looking for a seat. If I had the seat, I could have just stood up, but this time, it ‘belonged’ to someone else, so it was more difficult. Of course, it is not an excuse to put off the fact that I simply lacked the courage this time. Like what sensei, Daisaku Ikeda said ”Compassion is nothing when there is no courage, courage is needed to take action.” – This can be explain by when we have possible thoughts of compassion, it is nothing if we do not have the courage to act it out.

There are many opinions about this topic (that was personal point of view, you could disagree), and it goes on…, but the thing is that if it comes from the heart, and it is right, do it (man)! It brings a cheer to your heart when after split seconds of struggles within yourself, you take an action. It is nothing big and something to ‘wow’ about at all, it is just what you feel for another person. 

Talking about courtesy, maybe some people might lift a brow up when they see someone give a seat up, there is a possible reason to why they did it. In fact, it is simply an act of concern, and a daily life thing. Why people might lift a brow may be due to habit. Habit, to not see those acts more often, but it is not something that we do it once in a while when we feel happy. It is something no matter how horrible your day was, or whether your boss scolded had given you a huge lecture out of no reason, that is still something we ‘have’ to do. See those ‘ ‘ ? It still comes down to a matter of choice.

Previously, my friend who went to USA for a holiday trip, came back telling me these: American men open doors for people behind them, even if there is no one, they will check, even if they are the ‘busiest men in the world’ or ‘flying off’ to work. This doesn’t imply that women can wait for everything to be done or initiated by men, (come on) it is a world of equality, so if rights are equal, tasks are equal. =D By right, it should be cultivated from young, or at learnt picked up in life. It is time people take a second look at the people around us, other people in this world… I remember someone blogging about men in USA on trains as well…. Yes, another supporting fact that it can be part of every day’s life.

Gathering with sigmaphi rhythm

So, this shall be the first post, definitely not the last of my wordpress. If you have been thinking what to write in yours, so do I. To get the ball rolling, let me start first with the outing / gathering I had this week with the SIGMAPHIANS RYTHEM. In case you are wondering what was that which I was referring about, it is the group I belonged to during the NPSU FOC 08. 

So, we decided to have a dinner at Al AZHAR near school. After all the delaying and waiting, we managed to squeeze up the packed Transit bus, not mentioning the fact that we missed two other SBS buses. We did have the poor waiter standing at our table for a good whole 5 to 15 minutes due to the distractions-chattering that we were ‘unofficially’ holding, well, minus all the pushing and denials of scandals within the group.

I was having difficulties reading out what I wanted to order in malay, after few failure attempts, I simply completed the ‘Nasi Goreng’ with ‘Pineapple fried rice’. Still quite embarrassed about the fact that I can’t read it properly, despite the fact that my mum was a malaysian(now singaporean) and she knows at the very least the verbal form of Berhasa Melayu. While waiting for our food to come, we inevitably split into smaller talks and gossips(maybe), and I took the chance to find out more about the modules in Film, sound and video course from Maybelle, my group leader, year 2 FSV student.

In the midst of our loud chattering in the kopitiam, our food were dished out one by one, and mine certainly made a grand entrance onto the table. Unlike the rest of my group’s order which came on a plate, mine came in a ‘pineapple shell’. The looks and stares attracted to my food aside, I dug my spoon into the light-golden fried pineapple rice, or if you would prefer to call it Nasi Goreng. Then, I let out a soft shriek, staring quite helplessly at the octupus baby squids, taking them out very cautiously with my fork. Looking at my helpless action, the boys in my group came up with a quick conclusion – I am afraid of squids. I would say in sarcastic tone ” I am very afraid of squids!” Of course, I did not say it (it would be terrible of me to), except some very long-winded explanations which wasn’t taken much notice of – that I am not very afraid of squids-I meant those fried, and cooked ones. They just taste too ‘rubbery’ and chewy to finish. So in conclusion, I just do not like eating them-the squids. I do hate to make a big fuss about food, so normally, I would simply put them by the edge of my plate, and least except a commotion. Other than the ‘wiggly’ things that I detest chewing on, and the green leafy vegetables, I do not have much of a ‘pickiness of food’ problem.  Well, I do have people around me who would pick on most food they are given, and I do understand their stand to a certain level, but personally(no offence) I think one cannot be overly-picky, unless you are pampered, or want to starve to death if there should be a serious shortage of food or war. Enough about the squids, not to mention that I was made fun of the whole night.

Adding onto what I ordered, or majority of my group ordered, we got for ourselves a glass of Milo Dinosaur, of which if I try ordering for one at SYC, they would tell me that the dinosaur had extinct, (which I concluded that it was due to shortage of milo powder). SYC by the way is one of the activity centre I go to for my meetings. 

I must say it was a great time catching up with my group members after the previous gathering with the rest of NPSU FOC 08 at Sentosa. It is a pity that I did not managed to take a picture this time, but here is a copy of one we took at Siloso beach.

Unofficial code of the day: Buy Nestle Mile powder to save the ‘Milo Dinosaurs’, save the ‘Milo dinosaurs’ which human had invented from extinction!